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PNAC
---- The Project for a New American Constitution is a coalition of wonderful, God-Fearing, America-loving, Christian, Heterosexual Men who want to just clarify what the Old Constitution says. Since 9/11, the world is a different place. Now that America is an empire, when we act we create our own reality. We at the PNAC believe America deserves a Constitution that reflects the new and different world. If you think the Obscenity Laws are old, or the Geneva Conventions are quaint, then you should sign-up today to join the PNAC! We here at the PNAC just love America so much, that we want to make sure it doesn't get old or stale or fuddy-duddy. America is new and fresh, and Hip-Hop-onomic that we need a Constitution that reflects our new, urban, hispanic groove, ya dig? Of course you do. Just check out some of our projects, I am sure you will agree that the PNAC has only your--and America's--best interests at heart! Taxes Taxes are so bad. It's our money, we shouldn't be giving it all to the government. So, we here at the PNAC want to use the time-tested, Republican-approved, Jesus-loving strategy of Ronald Reagan's trickle-down economics to insure that our money is used in such efficient ways that it would make your head spin! But in a good way! Because the government does such a bad job with our money, why no let businessmen (who are much better with money than anyone else on America's Planet) handle all our finances? Money can be so confusing, and businessmen work with money all day long, and even bring it home with them, even though their wives had dinner ready and waiting for 3 hours...why can't women just leave their husbands alone after a hard day at work? Who let women speak anyway? Which reminds me... Rights I think the Bible was clear on what rights we Americans have, don't you? I thought so. Since the Bible is infallible, we don't have to re-write it, right? Right? Of course not. the Bible was clear about everything we need to know, and so we don't need to change it, so why don't we just use the Bible for our laws, instead of the Bill of Rights, makes sense doesn't it? Of course it does. Privacy If you have nothing to hide, then what are you hiding when you scream "privacy"? If you love America, and want to defeat the terrorists, then you won't mind if the people whose job it is to protect America and The Baby Jesus can just go about their jobs in peace. Plus, it won't take long once everything and everyone is on the same "grid" so-to-speak. Military Speaking of peace, doesn't it suck? Terrorists want us to be happy and content so they can invade our country, abort all our babies and steal their stem cells. This would be bad. Very Bad Yes, very bad. So, the PNAC has developed a strategy to insure the Military performs at its peak efficiency and that simply means to take it out of government's bureaucratic hands. Only when businessmen run everything can we ever be truly free. Foreigners Foreign people love America. but they don't know how to express their love and gratitude in English. So, the PNAC has developed a way for foreigners to buy into the American dream without crossing our borders. We have an associate at The World Bank working feverishly to implement PNAC's Special Foreign Initiative right this minute! That is just good news for each and every American and pre-born American! Good luck, Mr. Wolfowitz! "Space" Exploration Going to Mars would just help America defeat the terrorists, in fact, we can send them all to Mars once we figure out how to get them there! Yes, that's it. In fact, just keep thinking about sending terrorists to Mars and don't worry about who is monopolizing all satellite communications--the two are as unrelated as Halliburton is to Iraq. Gosh, I hope there is enough fuel...oh, wait a minute... Hydrogen-fueled vehicles So Brazil is on the E85, so what? They don't even have black people living there! (Neither does New Orleans, but they chose to move to Texas) America is about the future, and so is the PNAC! Hydrogen-fueled vehicles are the best way to get Americas moving again. And the best way to get hydrogen is to isolate it from water molecules! And guess what!? Water is everywhere! So, don't worry about someone (who?) privatizing water sources, because there really are no corporations interested in bottling and selling water, plus, there has never been any instance in the history of mankind when a corporation privatized a common resource then hijacked the market to overcharge people, thus making a killing in profit. And that would never happen with water, since there is so much of it, everywhere you look... We here at the PNAC give you our word on that. And, just so you know, there is nothing wrong with making a profit. Banking And where would you put your money, once the PNAC takes it out of the government's hands and trickles it back down to the consumer American taxpayer? At banks, of course! Why banks are trust-worthy and steadfast, and everything you would want from a large, mulit-national corporation with insane amounts of assets. So, just keep your trust in the banks, and make sure you answer every request for you to open one of their charge accounts! They love America so much, they put her name on all the money! Thank You These are just a few of the projects we here at the Project for a New American Constitution are working on. Together with our Corporate Coalition partners The Carlyle Group and The Prescott Group we hope to gain control over every aspect of government and trickle everything back down on you! See Also *Coalition for a Democratic Workplace *Center for a New American Security * Foundation For Defense of Democracies External Tubes * Study On How Best To Protect America